Don’t worry. You needn’t avert your eyes.
I was staying in Denver for a few nights recently and it’s weird what happens when you are away from your children for a bit of time. Weird, I say.
Do you feel this way? Do you let loose a little and slowly unravel your shoulders, open up your ears and eyes, and take a huge breath?
I do! When I don’t have food and beverages and clothes to fetch, and I don’t have whining to quell, and spastic flying children and such, I let the hell loose.
Here’s how I do it.
1. I dye my hair.
2. I make up weird desserts like Peanut Butter Cookie Brownie Cups of Pure Vileness, and the easy-as-hell peanut butter chocolate chip spoon.
3. I talk to my dog. She looks at me like I’m an ass. I talk to her some more.
4. I stage impromptu photo shoots.
That’s pretty much it, other than a little bit of horrible yell-singing going on quite frequently. What sorts of embarrassingly weird things do you do when alone?
Tell me now.